Venusian themes on my mind, from an Aires Venus-
Okay, so Its not March 2019- its now May 2025, and somehow I’m coming out of my privacy shell and knowing i have stuff that I need an avenue to express. I’ve been thinking a lot about feminine power and its many different forms. There’s something that I love about a particular kind of female fierceness, but its VERY Particular. Everyone has their asthetic right? Well mine is one that is varied and peculiar, and naturally these are versions that can easily get lost amidst the backdrop of normalcy. Especially that of where I live at this moment, creative expression through fashion and dance is not something I feel like I have much access to at this time and place I’m in right now…. It’s like a chrysalis, I’m waiting to come out of hiding again. However there is something WAY different about this time, I’ve been in a chrysalis many many times before. But this time, I’m not young anymore. And I’m not grappling with aging right now, or am I? Its just that by the time I really was able to achieve some version of physical coordination and mastery in Dance, it was just about the time I was about to lose it. Strictly due to losing some of my physical power, preciseness, and ability- from hormonal changes and - just getting older. I have to work so much harder now to be where I used to be.
I’m really not trying to “get back” to a certain level that I was at, at one point, I’m just trying to find whats next in my “now” realm. There must be something… dance wise, I mean… I’m not one to easily give up on the things I love. But like many things… it was a skill that was easily given, it just wasn’t able to be consistently cultivated in my life…. there were so many stops and starts. If I could ask for a particular skill and gift in my next life, it would be that I could be gifted the chance and the aptitude to dance and be trained to use all my excess energy - when I was still really really young.
I don’t think I need to give up yet…. I mean, the game ain’t over and I’m still here- so I guess I need to see where this new chapter takes me, and the others I find myself with on the journey- But, looking back, which is something thats natural and also important way of distilling your experiences and finding wisdom, isn’t the way to set future goals. I have to completely make them up from scratch now.. and its confusing. I think I need an astrology reading :)